Well it’s finals week and for the past three days I have been on a rollercoaster of paralyzing anxiety and crippling depression that leave me staring blankly at my computer screen for hours with short bursts of productivity. With finals, holidays, travel plans and getting ready for an unexpected second semester in Rome I have been a complete wreck. Luckily I know that this happens to me sometimes and I have learned to cope with it. I have my panic pills as I like to call them and an arsenal of thought challengers and breathing techniques. I also have something new this time around that has been very helpful, friends who I can talk to freely about my mental health and will support me and help me as best they can. I am trying to remind myself that even though this time is stressful it will not last forever.
For anyone who is thinking about studying abroad but is scared because of their mental health my advice is to come prepared and do it even if it scares the living daylights out of you. This semester I have grown in ways I can barely understand and definitely can’t explain just yet. Yes it has been challenging balancing self care with all the chaos of study abroad but it has be absolutely 10000000% worth it. It took me a while to figure out what I needed to be prepared for this. Some of it was obvious, like my meds, but there was also a sense of courage and faith that I needed to develop before I got here. I realized I had already survived some pretty challenging times in college and I saw how much I grew from that so the natural conclusion was that with more challenging times would come more personal growth. That is what I am telling myself now as I attempt to harness my anxiety into finishing the last of my papers. Change begins as soon as you step out of your comfort zone and it hurts but it will be worth it.
Skjerven in the Sky 